Sunday, November 8, 2009

City Pie: "Two bite slice."

UPDATE: I no longer want to be associated with the person who I ate pizza with in this portion of Slice Harvesting so I've replaced his name on this and all other reviews he appears in with a loaf of white bread. 🍞

To match the slice at City Pie, this entry will not be very substantial. Once again, we have an instance where a website is making fallacious claims (as opposed to fellacious claims, am I right?! Heyoooo!) about what it is that New Yorkers want.


"[We] specialize in thin crust pizza made just the way New Yorkers like it." Or so claims their website. Maybe the brazen yuppies of the Upper West Side--the type of people who hire someone to clean their house, someone to raise their kids, someone to walk their dogs, someone to cook their food; they probably work in managerial positions (which means their work is actually just assigning work to other people)--don't have time in the midst of all that delegating to eat an entire slice of pizza or don't have the allotted calories left in their Jenny Craig for a real slice or whatever. But this slice just does not pass muster in terms of providing an adequate amount of sustenance for your buck.

Notice 🍞's hand poised to accost this slice, symbolizing the ever-present threat of the Capitalist Death Culture. It is a figurative, not literal death to which I refer--a death of the soul.

If it were $1.50 I'd let it slide, but at $2.30, this is just not worth it. Especially when, as we'll find out two posts from now, there is a great slice around the corner. All that said, I have to hand it to this place for using quality ingredients. In fact, I'm mostly just looking for a good excuse to rag on yuppies. I got nothing against City Pie. Their slice was insubstantial, and because of the thinness of the dough, it lacked the Tender Upper Layer important for a perfect slice so the bread was the texture of cardboard. But it tasted good!

This slice gets a solid "meh," though I will totally admit that I was extra hard on it because it lives in an affluent neighborhood, which I think is like, reverse-racism or why affirmative action doesn't work or something.

City Pie
166 W 72nd St # D
New York, NY 10023

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